You know what drives me crazy?
Dismissing our kids is what. I will tell you why.
I’m really happy you are here 🙂
Maybe dismissing isn’t the right word.
What I am talking about is when you say that your kid is two years old, or fifteen years old for example and people immediately go to “oh, the terrible twos” or, “the nightmare of parenting a teenager”.
You know what I think? I think it’s fucking rude. And I think grouping together kids into over simplified ways to dismiss what the developmental part of growing up they are in as problematic is problematic in itself.
I know, it’s super fun making fun of toddlers. Making videos of them losing their shit over having the wrong spoon. Super fun.
I fully acknowledge the support the parents need during the more intense parts of parenting, that’s why I am here, that’s what I do, it’s my work, but I would encourage you to think about this:
Would you like some of the more difficult moments, where you don’t even know why you are feeling the way you are, but you most definitely are, made fun of and trivialized? I definitely wouldn’t.
I have times when I get like that around my period or in certain parts of moon and earth cycles. I don’t know why, I just know that, and I definitely do not feel any better, nor does it change anything for me when it’s made fun or described in a way that makes the describer look funny and witty.
It’s like that for our kids too.
I’m not talking about not feeling defeated and struggling at times. We all do.
I am talking about empathy, for our kids in those moments.
And you might think that maybe I don’t know what I am talking about because my kids are always so easy. I can assure you they are not. But I know that when they are acting in a way that is difficult for me, it’s even harder for them.
When one of my kids was having hour long kicking and screaming tantrums, every day, for a long time, was it hard for me? 100% yes. It was super hard. I had to do all the off the mat yoga, and some on. I would sweat, get short of breath, it was so hard. There were moments I didn’t want to participate in things worried that my toddler would erupt. Did I search support from professionals and my friends? You bet I did. Did I make fun of my kid? No. I didn’t have that level of entitlement. I saw their struggle, and mine. They are not mutually exclusive.
So the next time you feel like making fun, check your tone. Check your message. Think of how it would make you feel if someone talked about you like that. It’s basic empathy, not even advanced.
You can do it, I know you can.
Thank you for spending time with me 🙂